Practice Mindful Listening: 

Try to avoid planning what you’ll say as you listen to others. Be willing to be surprised and to listen with your whole self. Pausing before speaking and bringing awareness to your body can be helpful.

Practice Self Focus:

Attend to and speak about your own direct experiences and responses. Speaking from your own experience will be more supportive than expressing an opinion, giving advice, or expressing assumptions about others’ experiences. Use “I” statements.

Acknowledge We All Have Biases:

We can assume that we are all going to say things that reveal our biases. Change cannot happen unless we acknowledge this. When we notice biases, we can name them plainly, pause, and allow ourselves to feel the impact. We can allow space for curiosity and understanding.

Understand the Difference Between Intent & Impact:

Try to understand and acknowledge impact first. Denying the impact of something said by focusing on intent only can sometimes cause more harm than the initial interaction.

Move Up / Move Back: 

Encourage full participation by all present. Take note of who is speaking and who is not. If you tend to speak often, consider “moving back” and vice versa.

Notice Judgment: 

Judgments of yourself, your practice, and of others will naturally arise on their own no matter how much you practice. You can simply let these thoughts pass without getting caught up in them and bring compassion to yourself instead.

Confidentiality: 

Take home learnings, but don’t identify anyone other than yourself. If you want to follow up with anyone regarding something they said during a session, ask first and respect their wishes. What’s said here stays here, but what’s learned here, leaves here.

This Community Agreement is adapted from Agreements for Multicultural Interactions EBMC (East Bay Meditation Center)